[Theme muzak: Noir - Fake Garden]
LotR picks of the day: YOWIE! - LotR Special and Worried? Who's worried? Not me! Amusing and slightly slashy in a humourous way. On a cast-focused, slashier note, The Picture Caption Contest! Drink and eat nothing while reading and don't read if you can't handle slash jokes. Also contains allusions to Very Secret Diaries.
Greg just challenged me to go 40 days and 40 nights without playing PS2. I accepted. The ordeal ends on March 9th. Yes, I might go slightly mental, but if birdy can survive without daily internet and comics, I can endure this measly thing.
My hands are itching to play the Dark Cloud 2 demo again. Damn it. >_<
Since Bush has declared Iraq, Iran and North Korea to be the "Axis of Evil," it appears some other rather exclusive organizations have begun to form, the most notable being the Axis of Just As Evil, its members being China, Libya and Syria. Canada is a noted member of the "Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America," along with Mexico and Australia.
I have found a little song, in honour of our neighbouring country's esteemed President, Mr. George W. Bush and his recent State of the Union speech, to be sung to the tune of "If You're Happy and You Know It, Clap Your Hands." Please do clap your hands because it'll drag out the song for ages (just like the State of the Union address last night! You can be just like Bush!) and make it even more exciting and non-tedious! ^_^
If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq
If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq
If the terrorists are frisky,
Pakistan is looking shifty,
North Korea is too risky,
Bomb Iraq
If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq
If we think someone has dissed us, bomb Iraq
So to hell with the inspections,
Let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions,
Bomb Iraq
It's "pre-emptive non-aggression," bomb Iraq
Let's prevent this mass destruction, bomb Iraq
They've got weapons we can't see
And that's good enough for me
Cuz it's all the proof I need
Bomb Iraq
If you never were elected, bomb Iraq
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq
If you think Saddam's gone mad,
with weapons that he had
(and he tried to kill your dad)
Bomb Iraq
If your corporate fraud is growin', bomb Iraq
If your ties to it are showin', bomb Iraq
If your politics are sleazy
And hiding it ain't easy
And your manhood's getting queasy,
Bomb Iraq
Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq
For our might knows not our borders, bomb Iraq
Disagree? We'll call it treason,
Let's make war not love this season
Even if we have no reason,
Bomb Iraq
Source: Anti-Dubya's Journal
[Tuesday, January 28, 2003 | 08:41 p.m.]
[Theme muzak: Lifehouse - Spin]
*paraoxysms of laughter* Engrish TTT Captions: very odd, sometimes baffling, occasionally perverted, but always, always hilarious. When Eomer is threatening Grima, instead of saying, "Too long have you watched my sister," the subtitles say, "too long i wanted my sister." Looks like Eomer has some issues to work out.
In the 80-100 minutes section, at the very bottom, do not, I repeat, do not drink or eat anything while you take that in. You don't want to replace your keyboard, monitor, mouse, desk and/or chair. XD
[Monday, January 27, 2003 | 08:18 p.m.]
[Theme muzak: Lara Fabian - The Dream Within]
Feel tired right now. Must write newspaper article on anime that's due tomorrow. Huzzah for ranting about the Americanization of anime and utter lack of sense!
Wrote two short stories over weekend. Am submitting them to friends' examination. It's depressing when you ask a friend to look over your work because there just might be the possibility that she hates your work, but will sugar-coat the truth. If she dislikes my work, that'll be that, but I must conclude that LotR fics are surprisingly good inspiration material at 2 a.m.
Finished FotR; am beginning The Two Towers. I'm not clicking with Tolkien's style; it's semi-religious and reminiscient of the Bible and I never got along with the Bible's high, distant, dramatic, historical account-ish style. I'm not liking Tolkien as much as I thought, but I do appreciate the world he created and the underlying messages and the sheer complexity of the books he wrote.
BSS and Branksome people: when you come over to Havergal to play badminton, can you please drop me a line a few days beforehand please because I'd really like to see you guys. ^_^
[Sunday, January 26, 2003 | 05:35 p.m.]
[Theme muzak: DDR - Captain Jack]
I've been pretty pessimistic of late. Thanks to everyone who's tried to cheer me up. I'm not that sad, I'm just ranting and it'll pass.
On an un-related note, most people find TTT boring. I weep. That is all.
Yeah, still on the LotR kick. It'll pass eventually like the Smallville habit, but LotR offers so much more in possibilities and Return of the King isn't out yet, not to mention I still have to finish the books. *grins*
Making good progress with Fellowship of the Ring. I'm near the end and can start on The Two Towers soon.
[Friday, January 24, 2003 | 11:16 p.m.]
[Theme muzak: New Order - Crystal]
Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic. Alone on a Friday night reading LotR RPS fics in a desperate attempt to replace the empty feeling inside caused by knowing that other people, specifically friends, are out with other friends because they can and I'm not allowed and too cowardly to trick my family. And more pissed off that I could have definitely seen TTT again with mad LotR friends.
Yes, I do happen to be resentful and jealous. And pissed that I'm whinging like a bratty eight year old.
Took some more photographs. None of them interesting enough, except maybe the one I took of the cat plushies; just practising with aperture and shutter speed. I think I need to practise motion and photographing people. I do like the SLR camera that I'm using...it's intuition and science blended together with patience. That is amusing because I'm not intuitive or patient. Heh, who am I kidding? I'll probably end up with terrible photographs with no sense of creativity and give it up because it's "too hard" or some other pessimistic shite I like to feed myself.
[Thursday, January 23, 2003 | 05:16 p.m.]
[Theme muzak: Bonnie Pink - Evil and Flowers]
Had a v. full day. Haven't had a day like this in a long time. Went to class all four periods because I skipped my last period spare to drop in the Grade 10 Photography class to indulge my revived interest in photography.
I've wanted to take photography for a few years now, but just never got around to taking the art class. I've got three spares now, so I might as well make the most of my time (and tuition) while I'm here. I'm not getting a credit for it, so I don't have assignments or have to worry about marks, which is sweet. And it's another skill/piece of knowledge I can acquire that hopefully won't go to waste. And I'll have a chance to be "artistic," which I haven't had much of a chance to be except writing short stories and writing goes slowly for me.
Lethe, I read your blog, except I couldn't find after the pirouette.nu URL went down and I didn't know where your blog had moved. So now I'm catching up. I understand perfectly the need for a naked Frodo club. In fact, my friend Britt has probably been looking for something like that since...well...since Elijah Wood became attractive. I'll rec it to her.
[Wednesday, January 22, 2003 | 09:57 p.m.]
[Theme muzak: Escaflowne - Sora]
I'm quite mad. I've been crazy for the past few days and they've been gloriously, wonderfully insane. I've confirmed that I'm a slavering LotR devotee now. I wasn't quite so rabid before, but now it's overtaken me. Actually, I quite like having this kind of madness. Gives me an excuse to squee at random moments and entertain myself while dozing off in Prayers and classes and sitting in the car. Also, speaking ambiguously about LotR and having people look at you funnily as you ramble on about the integrity of Peter Jackson's vision and being a PHF (or PEF or PMF) is quite amusing.
I'm also trying to read Fellowship of the Ring and actually finish it and the rest of the trilogy before The Return of the King comes out next year. I got to the council scene last time I tried to read it and just gave up. I will persevere.
Watching FotR again, but this time with the cast commentary. The hobbits are most amusing. Am smitten with Dominic Monaghan because of amusing impressions and scruffy look. Equally smitten with Billy Boyd because he's got that charming accent and when he says "Hugo Weaving" it sounds like "Higgo." In fact, I'm smitten with the entire Fellowship. And I'm also smitten with the word smitten. ^_^
I have something guilty to confess.
[highlight] I have begun to read and enjoy LotR RPS fics.
Yes, I am ashamed of myself. >_<
Lord of the Rings is such a bad influence. I like bad influences. In fact, I do believe I am a bad influence. XD Must widen area of corruption as paving way to world domination.
Yes, I am crazy. Didn't I say that at the beginning?
[Sunday, January 19, 2003 | 04:35 p.m.]
[Theme muzak: Turn A Gundam - Moon]
Finished watching FotR Extended Edition DVD. I like. XD The interviews with the cast are marvelous and the anecdotes they share about their time filming are quite funny. Orlando Bloom says "Man!" too much, but is still adorable, Billy Boyd and Dominic Monaghan are hilarious (their impressions of people are great), Ian McKellan is very cool and so is Christopher Lee, and Viggo Mortensen is...well, all I can say about him is that he is amazing. Not only is he an actor, but he's also a photographer, a poet, and a painter and isn't half bad at all of them. And his voice is lovely...all husky and whispery and mmmmmmm...
And that led to watching Two Towers again with my sister and the second time around is much better. Still seeing slashy hints and are more obvious than ever before.
I know I'm hopeless. ^_^
[Saturday, January 18, 2003 | 12:06 a.m.]
[Theme muzak: Joydrop - Sometimes Wanna Die]
Feelin oh-so alone and pathetic right now. Go me!
I shall go insane very soon because I cannot decide or be sure of anything anymore. Skepticism is all fine and dandy as an academic Renaissance way of thinking, but it isn't fine for a seventeen year-old teenager on the verge of adulthood. I'm so caught up in unworldly matters that the world, tired of politely knocking and me ignoring it, has now broken down the door and started yelling in the shape of university, my family and my life. My family tells me to go the safe route of a lawyer; I'm not positive I want to. Am I being stupid by ignoring their advice? I might like becoming a lawyer, but I'm not sure. Maybe I'll hate it and the long hours and the sheer intensity of it. Maybe I'll love it. My family says follow practicality, not your own likes.
Would it be better to have a safe, well-paying job that you hate or a decent, less stable, less well-paying job that you love?
I would say the job you love, but I'm an idealistic young fool with no sense of direction or certainty in life. I'm just foolish and I've got my head up in the clouds. I can't even be sure of how sure I am anymore. I can't judge myself correctly, so how can I judge other people?
Just a question, how many people reading this actually know what they want to do as a future profession with certainty?
[Friday, January 17, 2003 | 01:21 p.m.]
[Theme muzak: Kiroro - Happy Birthday]
Friday. XD
Busy weekend and even busier week. Tomorrow, community service from 10-1, then Sunday, working on English seminar with group all day at my house. I have two seminars and two tests next week. >_>
I'm hoping next weekend won't be as busy, but it's very doubtful, since 2nd term is always loaded with work.
I think, therefore I am. Explanation: You doubt your existence. But then you doubt your doubt of existence. The doubting of your doubt of existence is thinking and that thinking indicates that you do, indeed, exist. Cogito ergo sum. XD Descartes mind-fucks so well, that sly bastard.
I think it's someone's birthday...yeah...um...it's whathisname's right...you know that kid with the things and the hair that's kind of...you know?
Just kidding. ^_^
Happy Birthday, skanky ninja man h0!
Just kidding again. Happy Birthday, Greg. *hug* XD
[Wednesday, January 15, 2003 | 05:07 p.m.]
[Theme muzak: Basement Jaxx - Jump n Shout]
Watched LotR on DVD last night. XD
Slept in today. XD
Got ISP proposal back. Was accepted. XD
2:30 dismissal. SAC guys streaking nearly naked through Grad common room in nothing but Speedos. Later they were running across crosswalk of school and Avenue Road. Still in Speedos. Blocked traffic. o_O
Sleep-in tomorrow as well. XD
Received news that Harry Potter: The Order of Phoenix will be released on June 21, 2003 and will be 768 pages long. XXDDDD
[Monday, January 13, 2003 | 06:54 p.m.]
[Theme muzak: Bonnie Pink - Inu to Tsuki]
Brrr...cold. Froze most of the morning in the old corridor of classrooms; I think it's possible to refridgerate meat in that hallway of classrooms overnight.
Monday actually not too bad. Last period spare, went out to bubble tea with Martha, Whitney, and Carling, then went to tutoring. I got the January issue of Newtype USA, which had Gundam SEED on the cover. SEED is just like all the other Gundam shows, especially like Gundam Wing from what I can see, except with the addition of the "Coordinators," the human clones.
[sarcasm] Hurrah for originality in new anime! [/sarcasm]
Greg, coming over to your school tomorrow to play more squash in the wimpy manner as usual. Bringing Stupid White Men. Want to skip your last period to go to Yonge and Finch with me? XP
Liking Oscar Wilde's plays very much. Social criticism and wit most amusing. Must find biography of his life and his apology. Am glad I chose him for ISP because what we're doing in English class with Tess can apply to Wilde's social criticism of elite London society.
Also reading Fast Food Nation. Is frightening the hell out of me and will become hermit for rest of life and look upon all Western commercialism and capitalism with disgust, especially after Stupid White Men. I really don't think I'll be able to eat at McDonalds for some time. Or Burger King. Or a lot of fast food restaurants. *shudder*
Oooh...the book geek in me is jumping with joy over the re-release of Ellen Kushner's Swordspoint in February. Must pre-order it, along with The Fall of Kings and Kushiel's Chosen, which I have been waiting for a week so far after reading Kushiel's Dart. I did not know Kushiel's Dart was not a standalone book or else, I mightn't have bought it. I feel particularly peeved with myself and the author when I buy books and then don't buy the sequels, especially when the story has not been resolved. Worst of all are books whose sequels have not been written yet or published and the story has not been resolved. All the books aren't available in paperback until February or March, with the exception of The Fall of Kings, but that takes 2-3 weeks to deliver. *eye twitches* I wish I didn't like books sometimes because waiting for them is sometimes unbearable. Hmm...my friend says she needs to know what she wants to get me for Xmas, but she always ends up joking about me only like Japanese pr0n, so appealing to her is a lost cause. *eye twitches*
[Thursday, January 9, 2003 | 07:08 p.m.]
[Theme muzak: Green Day - Time of Your Life]
[ramble]
'Twas v. cool to wear my Grad sweatshirt today. People don't see belts (and ours are worn, torn, ugly, bald tassels), but they definitely see white, baggy, somewhat ugly hoodies on those people who have that gleam in their smile. Our school has strict policies and enforcement of school uniform and sweatshirts are absolutely not allowed with uniform. The grads are allowed to wear sweatshirts as part of the school uniform except at Prayers and it is sweet. After years of the same uniform without any detractions, a casual baggy hooded sweatshirt does wonders for one's sense of freedom. Of course, we all are conformists because the grads are all wearing the same thing, but it sets us apart from the rest.
I will honestly say that I like being a grad. We take more interesting classes. We can have up to three spares. We officially can go off school grounds for spares. We have the grad common room to ourselves and it's messy, stinky, old, sub-level and impossibly hot, impossibly cold, impossibly humid, impossibly windy, and impossibly (other unpleasant weather/environment/atmosphere conditions) but it's OURS and no one rules us in there. Teachers actually deign to talk to you in a more mature manner than before and are more willing to discover that you do, indeed, have an acceptable mind that may think on occasion and a vocabulary beyond responses composed of monosyllables. Younger students deem you acceptable to suck up and talk to. Guidance counselors put you first because OMIGODYOU'REGOINGTOUNIVERSITYAAAAAAHHHH. You're put first when you change your classes. We get glorified curtain accessories that wear out damn quickly as symbols of our positions of leadership *coughbullshitcough*. Best of all, we'll be FREE! XD
We will have our freedom when Friday, June 13 2003 comes. Havergal's graduation ceremony is on Friday the 13th. I know. *knocks on wood*
[/ramble]
[Wednesday, January 8, 2003 | 04:44 p.m.]
[Theme muzak: FFVI - Celes (Piano Version)]
Greg, read carefully. I put my argument in clear point form for you. I'm even restraining myself from calling you lots of names.
You did not screw my life over.
It is not your fault my mother has put new restrictive and oppressive measures on my life and my communications with friends.
Do not delete my phone numbers because I can still talk to you, just not as long as before. This house/phone arrest will last for January and February and only if I don't say anything and I eventually will.
Ease up on the depression and stop being a moron about this matter, all right?
I ranted last night on this blog, but I'm still not satisfied. I really need to speak to my mother like an mature person, not a cowering, defiant animal. I hate language barriers at this moment; I can't express myself well in Chinese and my mother doesn't understand English well. My mother has partially infected me with the belief that I will fail everything this term and I didn't do well enough in the first term and that I cannot stray from my chosen path. I'm almost panicking already.
For all my irritation and barely controlled anger, I just want to wallow in my misery and cry a bit. Shouldn't do that though, have almost exceeded my mini-breakdown quota for this year. I can deal with this; I know I have the arguments. The problem is that I don't know my mother well enough to convince her.
On a more amusing, light-hearted, pop music-bashing note...
Earth-shattering news: Avril Lavigne created punk!
Ah...disgruntled, snarky people tearing into deluded punk/pop wannabes. I adore that. ^_^
Got my Grad sweatshirt today. 5w337, except it's ugly. -_-
Went to Chapters today. Not enough time to get that "Oooh..." feeling, but enough time to purchase The Golden Compass, The Subtle Knife, Stupid White Men, and Fast Food Nation. I can spend hours in Indigo and not buy anything, but when I spend fifteen minutes in Chapters, I can purchase FOUR v.g. books. Gah. Want to start reading, but Descartes and Napolean beckons. >_>
Someone should have used Napolean's head as an arm rest at least once as I've been used. >_> It would have done wonders for his ego, which probably was as large as the empire he ruled.
[Tuesday, January 7, 2003 | 12:30 p.m.]
[Theme muzak: Staind - Fade]
Not only am I under distantly supervised house arrest for the rest of January, February, and March, I will also be limited to 15-25 minute phone calls on weekdays and slightly longer ones on the weekends and then only if I've finished all my work. (Greg, you know what that means.) The house arrest seems non-negotiatiable and if I ever do go out with friends during the next two months, well, if is the key word.
When I asked if there was the possibility of relaxation in form of longer phone calls, I was lectured in a scornful manner again about how I enjoyed myself during Christmas for an entire week already and how I don't listen. What they accuse me of is not listening at all, which is partially true. I admit I don't take my family's advice, requests and commands in somethings. I listen, I reflect and I tend to not do what they tell me partially because of reason, logic, attempts at fitting in their own wishes with mine, some laziness and always that generous streak of teenage rebellion and defiance in me.
I didn't take AlGeo; I didn't apply to American or British universities. However, as my mother told me, I didn't go out after the party, except to badminton which they sanctioned the week before; I've listened to their lectures without saying more than five sentences in defense of myself; and I've been a fairly good daughter these seventeen years.
I don't know how to please my family and still remain myself. They care about me. They want me to have a good, safe future where I don't have to worry about money. They've ensured it fairly well so far with sending me to Havergal, giving me what I needed and wanted usually and more than just a few luxuries, and somehow made sure I grew up with morals, ethics, some manners, etc.
Am I a bad person for not listening at all? I am defiant, lazy, selfish, slightly stubborn, overindulgent, and a mixture of other weak, unattractive qualities, but what's wrong here? I feel like a very bad person because I can't reconcile my wishes with my mother's.
She tells me to be a lawyer; it's a good job. It is a good job. She tells me to get direction in life, to know what I'm going to be and stick to that path. She and my sister are most insistent on the point that I know what my future career is going to be.
I don't know. There are so many possibilities, that is what our predecessors of society have given us. Choice and freedom. It is my freedom to choose what I will become in the terms of a career and that also includes the freedom not to choose yet. I refuse to have the choice forced on me, not the choice of career, but the choice. I have the choice of seeing possibilities.
I can understand that my mother's afraid that I won't get a good job and end up trying to eke out a decent living and life. Security is the path she wants me to go upon, but life is where I want to head. Admittedly, I've got the whole Enlightenment "independence, freedom, do what you love" ideal raised high upon a pedestal in my head. I believe in it and to go against it hurts me. Perhaps I will go on her chosen path one day. But not now. If I do regret what I've done, it's my regret. If I end up as a "starving artist" twenty years later, it will have been my choice and I will have no one to blame for that but me. *knocks on wood for the "starving artist" bit*
My mother thinks I don't think and only listen to my ego. She believes I am a defiant teenager who does not listen.
If I did not listen, I would not be writing this right now.
Then again, I could be that defiant teenager who does not listen to her mother. And I will regret it.
Right now I want freedom. My mother wants me to have security, safety and a "good life." I want a good life now and later as well, but our definitions of a "good life" clash. A "good life" isn't necessarily what I've got right now. I've got a "good life" right now, but it isn't what I want all my life. Admittedly I very much love what I have right now: family, friends, a house to live in, a good, above average education and opportunities galore to turn my life into something good. But it isn't quite the "good life" yet. Yes, I am selfish; I want a "good life" according to my definitions. And isn't that the only way a "good life" will be a good life?
Good night everyone. *hugs* I still have Internet, so I can still blog and MSN and ICQ.
[Sunday, January 5, 2003 | 09:54 p.m.]
[Theme muzak: Noir - Solitude by the Window]
I'm going to be under a sort of house arrest for the next two months, meaning no going out with people much. I think the extent of my social outings will be limited to once/twice a month at the most.
School tomorrow. I feel very blue right now. I don't like going back to school, but it's not the end of the world. Other things just keep on creeping up on me and they're depressing. *sigh*
[Friday, January 3, 2003 | 06:30 p.m.]
[Theme muzak: BoA - Kiseki]
I woke up two and a half hours ago. My sleeping schedule is so screwed up right now. And school's in two days. >_<
Finished reading X up to volume 18. I keep on laughing at the most inappropriate parts of the manga, especially when I've seen manipulated scans of it before. And technomancy and Just a Little Ecchi have everything to do with it. I should have read the manga first, then entertained myself with naughty but enormously amusing comics of ice cream, earthquakes, and the continual non-violent torture of Kamui.
X is the most depressing manga I've read so far. Hopelessness is a constant and will remain a constant even though the TV and movie tell us otherwise. If there's a hint of a "happy ending" in the end, I'll be shocked.
On a more superficial, fangirly note, Fuuma has no right to look that good when evil. He has equally no right to make those old-fashioned glasses look so hot. Kamui may be the prettiest, but without a doubt Fuuma is the secksiest bishonen in X. Notice how he only becomes hot when he becomes evil?
[Wednesday, January 1, 2003 | 05:34 p.m.]
[Theme muzak: Maaya Sakamoto - Lucy]
I think I'm supposed to say something along the lines of...um...
*looks at cue cards*
Merry 360o Turn of the Earth on Its Rotational Axis According to the Solar/Gregorian Calendar?
*scratches head* Whoops, sorry, Happy New Year to everyone. XD
